(6 of my greatest friends)
Wow- so it’s been a while:) This past week Becca and I headed to Dallas for Spring Break. We didn’t do much of anything, but it was a MUCH needed rest. It was just of fun time of relaxing and reflecting on what the Lord has done in us this past year.
Last semester I wrote a blog saying I hoped the Lord would put Becca and I in the same city again next year. Well friends- can I just say that whole process was so so so hard on my heart. I have been praying for four years that the Lord would give me great Godly friends and when He answered my prayers with Becca and the other Lighthouse girls, I felt like he was taking them/her from me to quickly with the life changes happening come May. I was hurt and confused as to why he seemed to be withholding good from me.
I was soon challenged by scripture and I had to choose to believe that despite what my emotions were telling me, He is good and withholds no good thing from me.
"For the LORD God is a sun and shield;the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." -Psalm 84:11
*I had to choose to believe he was sovereign, as well as repent of pride and selfishness in my own heart.
At our house bible study Lauren challenged us to have times of silence before the Lord as part of developing our spiritual disciplines. Well... he showed up to my time in a big way, why did I even question the fact that He would?! He basically spoke straight to my heart and said "you are holding onto these girls like they are your property. What if I want Becca to be in Africa to make my name great among the nations? Yet you want her available to you to watch movies with and take road trips with? Let's check our heart shall we?" That's paraphrased but you get the main idea :) I realized in that time of silence that my heart and motives for wanting friends to stay wasn't in the right spot. I have to love them enough to let them go. Cliche? Maybe. True? Absolutely. This spring semester has been the Lord helping me work through that, and with my trust issues...whew- I'm a hot mess and we have a lot of work to do. While He did eventually give Becca the go ahead to stay in Springfield with me next year, I'm still unbelievably grateful for the lesson He taught me throughout those months of waiting. I now know that my friends much like my life are not my own. Literally everything in my life has to be under his control, the more and more I fall in love with him the easier that becomes. I hope you can all take the challenge to have your own times of silence this week and let the Lord speak and change you heart about areas you may not even want to give to Him. Cast ALL your cares upon Him. He can take it, and you'll walk away changed by His goodness.
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